Held Back to Repeat

My best friend was held back in first grade but

her repeat year was filled with learning that

history repeats itself

like when her dad left again with the tooth fairy

and promises were pillows that yielded no money

like when current events were inside food stamps

which could not be used to buy shoes

math doesn’t always add up

like when her mother’s three part time jobs were real numbers

but did not equal the sum of eight children

and there can be division in the Catholic church

vocabulary words can be concepts

like in cafeteria curtsies at the cash register

embedded in fibers of free lunch

science is every where

like when stares and titters and shame caused a face to turn red.

The repeat played on and on while hunger motivated yet avoided mirrors.

She took on a paper route and sneaked a peek at the business section

and gazed inside the warm houses when collecting the money.

She noted pigeons everywhere relentless in the rain.

She witnessed oysters fold up against ocean unrest.

She watched moths disorient in flickering lights.

She learned to jump over sidewalk cracks and thank the trees that caused them,

to pause and look under the hood and drive across unpaved roads,

to reach inside the box and pull out words unspoken,

to change the lock and feel unbroken.

Kay L. Cook, current New Yorker, is a gay parent in a racially mixed family. She was born and raised in the Midwest, and her writing focuses on miscommunication and the need for change due to racial, cultural and mental health differences. She is dedicated to chipping away at systemic injustices. Her formal degrees are in the fields of education and mental health.

Recent publications: Rise Up Review,The Write Launch, Wild Roof Journal, and 2 Horatio.